Update 

Thank you all for your comments. The story continues to unfold. I have been seriously considering filing a motion to vacate the divorce, since my ex wife did not come through on a lot of her promises concerning the divorce settlement, including a lot of personal items she did not return to me as promised. As she started catching wind of this (mainly because I asked our accountant for copies of our tax returns), the emails started to hit.

First her sister, the one who had always been on "my side", and the one who actually brokered the settlement, sent me a nasty email on Facebook, claiming among other things that my ex had every intention to reconcile AFTER the divorce, until she received a cell phone bill that showed that I had resumed talking to the "other woman" six weeks into our separation, and therefore was obviously  still having the "affair". She then went on to call me every name in the book, and claimed that I was actually only married to her sister to begin with because of her wealth.

A couple of days later, my sister received an email from my ex wife, who basically laid the exact same claim - the cell phone bill killed the reconiliation and from that point on, my ex wife had the right to start her new relationship with her new man (even though through all of this she continued to push for the quick divorce so we could reconcile).

Now, making calls to the other woman during this time was just dumb, let alone doing it on a cell phone that was still having its bill sent to the house. But, she would have also seen that it lasted for only a few short weeks, and if she had ever inquired or investigated, it never amounted to anything other than phone calls (I STILL have not seen this other woman in person!). Again, indefensable, but this other person was a friend first and foremost, and was dealing with her own tremendous guilt for having taken the friendship in a bad direction. So when my ex refused to start counseling six weeks into the separation, thats when I got hurt and angry and called the other woman.

During this time is also when my ex was posting pictures of her trips back to her hometown, and her friends were posting messages up on her page with statements like "You need to get laid", and "Meet any cute guys lately, wink- wink". It was all pretty much in my face and it hurt. So while I bided my time sitting in this townhouse, waiting until the divorce went through to start over with my ex, she was out seeing the world and obviously falling in love with this guy. And yet in her back pocket she held her "Get Out of Jail Free" card, the cell phone bill showing a number of calls to the "other" woman.

Now I am destressed beyond mere words. How stupid of me to look for phone support from the same person who caused the problem. How stupid of me for not getting everything in writing from my ex before signing the divorce papers. How stupid of me to believe that my ex would not have been lining up the next guy while I was pining away. (She found and started dating her second husband while still married to her first, she found and started dating me while still married to her second, etc.). How stupid of me to use a cell phone whose bill was still going to the house! And most of all, how stupid of me to STILL be in love with my ex!!

My ex and her family have certainly found a way to leave the guilt of all of this at my door, and it has succeeded. My family is screaming at me to vacate, but I am running out of time to do so.. and to what end I am stil not sure. I could end up a lot worse off in the end.  At the very least, her family planted the seed that I doomed us ever getting back together again, even if all other evidence points to the fact that it wasnt going to happen no matter what (no one, including my therapist and lawyer, had EVER heard of any couple who got divorced first and then started counseling).

So now my depression has come back full steam. Last night I sat alone in this house feeling despondent and terribly alone, and seriously thought about suicide. I knew my ex was with her new guy, siting in my old house, making dinner, watching a movie, having sex, falling asleep together in my bed.. while I sat here all alone, barely able to function. I am overwlemed with my guilt,and feel like God is punishing me for what I did. I cant put Humpty Dumpty back together again, and yet its all I ever wanted. And now I am cursing myself for ever picking up that phone and resuming those communications with the other woman. My life will forever be filled with "What if" now, and I guess I will never know.