It wasn't so bad 

Well, today was Thanksgiving. (actually if you want to look at the clock, it was yesterday, I just haven't been to bed yet)..The kids and I had dinner with the stbx's family at Cracker Barrel, minus the stbx. It was pleasant, I enjoyed the conversation and it was good for my kids. The meal was pretty good too, it is amazing how good it can taste when you know you don't have to do the clean up. We came home and actually took a nap, all of us did. Tells you how much we stuffed ourselves. We ended up pulling all the Christmas decorations out. My son put up the tree and my daughter and I decorated it. I hung the stockings up under the fireplace mantle and I put out some other decorations we have. Yes, we listened to Christmas music as well too. It was a relaxing day and I didn't miss the stbx like I thought I would. He never bothered to call the kids for the holiday and they didn't seem to mind. Maybe it bothers me more than it does them. Maybe they are ok with just me acting like a parent. I hope that is the case since I can't see him pulling his head out of his ass anytime soon. My kids are doing well, I am doing well. What more can I ask for than that? It makes me wonder though why I didn't feel a bigger void because he was missing from the day. Shouldn't I have felt like there was a gaping hole where he used to be? I only had some momentary sadness when I thought of him. Of course, I wonder if the reason I feel that way is because I actually feel sorry for him because he is the one missing out. Maybe it is because I can't get  it in my head that he may have had a really great time today. I guess I should just be thankful that I was ok today and not question the why.