I believe divorce is a mistake as well but people have free will in what choices they make. I am not happy that he chose to run instead of working life out. Every day we all have free choice in words and actions. My husband (well, ex by his choice) is living in the world of anger, bitterness, martydom, alcohol etc. It's sad to say the least but I can't change where he is choosing to dwell in thought and deed. I've been living with depression since this started. I am only now beginning to see a little light. That is a choice too. I pray for miracles and wish we could go back in time and have another chance. Thank you for reading my story (even though it was written a long time ago) and making your comment regarding my marriage. I will be honest, I have not read through a lot of the posts and what is happening in your life. I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for your words. They gave a hurting heart hope.

Vincent, cheating is an excuse. It is NOT a reason. An honorable person first tries to work out the problems or dynamics. If that doesn't work, he or she leaves the relationship BEFORE finding another bed partner. I speak from a lot of experience here. My ex would tell his cheating partners that I wouldn't have sex with him. The truth? He refused to have sex with me, unless I begged. This was after a huge fight where he'd brought a 'friend' for a visit who was the meanest, rudest person on the face of the planet, and also, I find out later, his mistress. I wasn't 'nice' enough to her, so *I* had to beg him for sex. He started having problems with impotence due to porn, cybersex, and affairs, so I was afraid to ask, unless I was desperate. Bottom line is this: I don't give a damn what your excuses are for cheating. Cheating is wrong. It is NOT your spouse's fault that YOU choose to dishonor your vows. It is NOT your spouse's fault that YOU choose to cheat instead of a) try to solve the problems, or b) leaving FIRST. Leaving is an option, but leave before you unzip your pants (or dress). If you don't, you are a person without integrity. It doesn't matter if your spouse is not a nice person. Cheating is wrong. Period.

hi vince, how are you my friend...?