I know how you feel. I want out too. Study some psychology. Study him and write down his habits and tendancies. Chart his behavior and start to put him on paper. Pretty soon, you will know his next move before he does. Figure out a way to disrupt his cycle. He will try like hell to get to the next step, but you are already ahead of him. You will give him a migraine and he will probably change tactics. This will eventually also fit into the cycle. My wife would go through several steps to get me under her control. First rage, then pleading, then begging, then crying, then sex, then back to rage. She would attempt to anger me by yelling at me in front of the kids and accusing me of all sorts of insane things. For a long time, she was succesful until I realized that her goal was to become a victim. The minute I retaliated, she would start acting like I was some out of control animal and abusing her. It took a long time to understand all this and it may not apply to you, but I learned a lot through all the years of pain. She had so many patterns that it became utterly predictable. Whether you have the ability to win or not, knowing your apponent is crucial when you are in a war. This is how I got my head out of my ass when I was married and realized that I was a fool because I was dancing to her music right along with her. Don't let him in your head. Never react to anything. Be sweet as pie and project complete contentment while saying only what is absolutely necessary. Don't even respond to stupid comments or defend false accusations. Deny their validity by staying silent as if they were never spoken. The calmer you are the more out of control he will get, being in a panic when his efforts don't return the expected results. This is not a guarantee, but it usually works. Read toddler training books. They are simple steps to training kids. Most people are just overgrown kids anyway. Hopefully, he is not as smart as you. It sounds crappy and it is a disgusing way to live, but eventually you may win your freedom and gain some independance fr