du no longer in love what does that mean. almost like you have to love your self before you can love someone else. what's up with that ?

Whenever I think of future plans, I always see myself without my husband. Possibly i want to follow my dreams and make some changes to my life now that the kids are in college, and i'm still young?? or simply I'm no longer into him due to everything he has done, and I haven't really forgiven ? I have been trying to hold on to him for 5 yrs, possibly hold on what we once had. I sometimes feel I don't have it in me anymore...that is love, admiration, desire, etc. Althought I inmensly had it for yrs until he killed it. I think I just need to get over it, and get a divorce..I think we're both miserable most of the time because we love eachother as a person, but no longer In-Love.