thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement! I am doing pretty good today. I finally heard from the stbx yesterday after 4 weeks of no communication. He sent me an email and said that he always cared what I thought of him and that my calling him a liar, a cheater and a manipulator hurt him so much (boo hoo). He says that no matter what he says or does I won't believe him (darn right! I have the phone records!) He is sending over a settlement proposal (finally). Can't wait to see what's in that!! He thinks we should have it wrapped up in a few weeks (I don't know what planet he's on but he must be in a big hurry to get rid of me! Gee, I wonder why!). My daughter and I are in our townhouse and we love it! I feel so safe here and at peace. I am ready to get this over with and drop the lying, cheating loser. This site is so encouraging...no one else can understand the gut-wrenching pain we are going through. Thank you to everyone and let's keep lifting each other up!

Now I read your story. You should certainly go for getting repaid for the money you spent on his medical education. Most states allow that. WHat an ass.

I saw your post. I think he's probably just jerking you around. Mine never even said he wanted a divorce. He just moved out. He did tell me at the time that he would probably end up alone and no, there was no one else. He moved into an apartment with another woman. He had been seeing her for at least a year. Until we made the settlement, he called me and asked me for dates????? He kept sending emails about how it was a trial separation and he wanted to get back together. What an ass. He had the whole thing planned and was holding on to get more money. My guess? Yours had her before he left you. THey usually do. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but in most states you can get temporary support and freeze his assets until you get it settled. You don't pay taxes on the temporary support, but you do pay tax on alimony. I'd get into court for a hearing immediately, Then you have some guarantee of money coming in. You might be able to get half or more of assets at the same time. That gives you some breathing room and time to heal. I wouldn't recommend doing a settlement until you are emotionally stable. A hearing shouldn't cost more than about $1000 to $1500, and you should DEFINATELY the judge to have him pay all of your legal fees. In my state the one who files for divorce pays legal fees. I don't know what your relative incomes are, but child support is usually a formula. Alimony has a lot more leeway. I'm not a lawyer but I've been in your same situation. By the way, it isn't your fault he found someone else. The most beautiful women in the world, the kindest, the most successful, still have cheating spouses. There's something wrong with the one who cheats - they think only of themselves.