I am having such a hard time, I feel like I'm stuck stand still and can't find the right direction to move towards. This is the third time I have tried to leave my husband and everytime he makes it impossible. He stalks me, crying and beggingfor just one more chance. He can be so charming and just loves me some much bla,bla,bla. Of course he loves me all I've ever done is make thing better for him. He cheats and has a kid with some else and I stay, he distroys me credit and I stay, his bestfriend is always in the way, and then he cheats on me again with my best friend and still I stay. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!! I am not a dumb or weak person by any means. I am strong and extremely determined but I just can't seem to let go. I do not fail at anything this is killing me because me and my kids are now paying for his mistakes all over again. When does it stop. I love this man but I do not like him and have zero respect for him. Oh, but he's not the same person that made all those mistakes, he has changed. It kills me that after 10 years he is finally ready to be that man I need, to change and better himself now. I know that I'm rambling and none of this makes any sense but I really need help. How do I put this behind me? What is the first step? I miss him and I hate him all at the same time, how can I get off this ride?