both really I guess. I am military and my stbx is retired military. He retired two years ago and now works for a government agency. Met the girlfriend there at work, she is 17 years younger than him. The length of our marriage. She is only 9 years older than our daughter. He just had his 25th high school reunion and his new girlfriend just celebrated her 26th birthday last month. Our daughter will have her 17th b-day next month. 9 years and two months older than my daughter, I guess technically. I missed my 20th this year because I had to take all the money I could spare and put in on the lawyer's retainer instead of traveling to go to my reunion. Every few days it seems like I have a bad moment and ask him why he can't work on us. Of course, he says it is not what he wants. He doesn't want to fix us. I can't even get mad, I think I must be in some sort of depression. I've lost 25 pounds in a month and a half. That is the only decent thing out of all of this. Ever sice I had kids, I have always struggled to maintain my weight for the military, now I don't seem to have to worry about it. I have been through so many emotions in a month and a half and he seems just fine. He is fine and thinks I should just get over it. I wish I could do it just as easily as he seems to think I should be able to.

Your story is a lot like mine. We have been together for 3 years, military. He just got home from Iraq 5 months ago, got me pregnant on purpose and then tells me that he hasn't been in love with me for 2 years and wants a divorce. I have been trying to blame it on PTSD and it may actually be just that, but the hurt and all the lies... You should think about moving back to Oregon, so you have your support that you need and good for you for going to counseling. Keep your head up. We will both get through this and be better stronger women from it.

Hi, welcome to d360. Let me know if I can help with anything at all. I thought I’d send this quicky ‘how-to-get-started’ note and leave it on your wall. I hope it helps you. Here’s what I usually do here. Everyday I 1) log on to the site. Simply type in your email and password to get started, then I come here, to the MyStuff/Profile page so I can see if anyone has answered my blog or question. If they have, I click on it and answer them back. 2) then I check the ‘scroll’..that’s the stuff at the top of this page. It changes every time a friend does something, like post a blog or comment on a question. TRICK: the more friends you have here, the more your ‘scroll’ changes. So make sure to befriend lots of people. 3) then I usually change my status…that’s up there, on top of this page, by your name. click it and type in whatever you are doing…’getting coffee’ or ‘going to lunch’. When you update that, it notifies all of your friends in their scroll…so they know you are online now. 4) then I usually add a new question or a new blog post. That’s easy to do…from here look up a little on the page and see the words Blog and Advice. Right next to each one is “add new’. Click that and start typing. Hit submit and your post goes directly to the site home page for everyone to see and read and comment on. Blogs are usually longer and more detailed, while Advice/Answers are usually quick questions you need help on right now. Read some other members to get a feel for it and then start your own blogs and questions! 5) then I start answering other peoples stuff…I’ll read blogs and post my comments…and I’ll read questions and post my answers to try to help other people. That’s the goal here. All of our opinions and experiences really help. 6) then I’ll start writing on some of my friends wall…..that’s this area right here. It’s really good for quick questions to one member or personal jokes or a little note. 7)click the People tab to see what members have something in common with you (based on your tags) and say Hi. Thanks and welcome…paula