Hi - Any news? did you try the site I recommended? I hope so. Let me know how it went and what is new.

Hi Orchid57 - I feel for you and your pain. You have been in limbo for so long. At this point you need someone to help you move through the next few months, preferably a counselor, so that you can make a final decision and rebuild your life. This is a decision you should not make alone. Help is available. You can find someone with whom you feel comfortable to talk. Seek out a counselor. Don't try to do this alone. I know you have friends, but you need someone who can steer you through the morass of your feelings and help you sort out what you want for your future. BTW, it sounds like your husband is suffering from IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome). Jed Diamond is a noted psychologist who has done a great deal of work in this area. Look him up on Google and review his work. He has a wonderful web site. Let me know what you think of his ideas. I think they may apply to your situation.

I read your story. You are a very strong woman. I'm so glad that your children have you. Don't focus on what is not there. So many of us existed in marriages where we brought out bodies home but left our souls somewhere else. You deserve better than that. You deserve a love where someone wakes up everyday and CHOOSES YOU and no one else. You can have that. Don't worry about your ability to provide for your entire family. You can and will do what you have to do. Know that you can and all will be well!