Well, then a CFI might be the way to go. They will dig deep to make sure that the child's best interests are served. If the father is vindictive, he can always fight the CFI recomendation. That is where things can get ugly. My ex fought the CFI report. He lied and lied and lied in court, twisted everything and went so far as to dig up things from my childhood. The court actually went against the CFI, (who investigated for months). So, my point is just be very careful. Be open and honest with a CFI. I held back alot of information, falsely thinking I was protecting my children. BIG MISTAKE. Let them know all of your concerns and your reasons for such. Also, let them know exactly what you want them to look into and what you want the final outcome to be from the investigation. Be prepared to show proof of all accusations and be able to defend yourself and any actions that you have made(if any) that the father may say/use against you. I have found that the less emotional you are the better. Keep issues focused on your son and do NOT do any blaming, just state things as matter of factly as possible.

You will need to file with the court requesting a CFI appointment and your reasons for requesting one. It is an extensive process that takes months. The CFI will interview you, your ex, your children ( I think you have four?), your friends, his friends, your family, his family, teachers, employers, they will look into all alligations/ accusations, come to each home to access the environment, review all of your personal histories, etc. I do not know your full story, but if you want to give that to me I will let you know what I think. Who knows if it will help, but I know when I first started I wish that someone would have stepped me through what I was in for. Looking back now I would have said and done things differently with my CFI. It is a learning process, however a little insight never hurts. Good luck and be cautious.

A cfi is a Child & Family Investigator