Thanks, so much ....Mag. This has been a hard two years. We have talked to our minister, parents, etc...but she continues with the late night(s) every two weeks or so. She states we are at an impass...why would a women put staying out all night above her marriage? Oh, she may like women as well. We have a 300k plus home, nices cars.. jag, etc..she's living good. I have never hit on her. We have had some tough financial times here and there over 14 years...but I did not cheat when the going got tough. She just turned 40...could she be in a midlife crisis? but reguardless, I don't think I should put up with this type of behavior. Why would she do this knowing it would upset me...she promise me three months ago she would stop...I said if you want our marriage it has to stop...she said ok..but a month or so later it started back...she says she has not boyfriend or girl friend. I don't know what to do.

Mag, I am sorry you had to go through that. As you found out, commitment will only work if both partners are fully committed to each other. Obviously he was not committed and wasn't ready to be the man it takes to be in a relationship. I know that you will attract the person of your dreams! I have seen in thousands of times and that is why I wrote my book. Just know that there are millions of amazing men out there ready for a relation-ship and not a relation-canoe. Dr. Dan www.AskTheRealLoveGuru.com

Hon, my heart goes out to you. In my mess of a marriage, I can't interject a thought or opinion without being A.) yelled at, B.) criticized, C.) told to shut up, D.) or made to look like I'm putting guilt on her or trying to one-side and control the discussion. So I keep my mouth shut. If she gets really mad, she raises her hand to me, and has hit me before. She told me, "That's because you deserved it." I could have had her thrown out of the house with a restraining order, but look at it like this: Jesus went to the cross without a fight. I try hard to model myself after Jesus. I pray every night for her forgiveness, because I know she has mental issues from growing up. Deuteronomy 23:21 says, ""When you make a vow to the LORD your God, you shall not delay to pay it, for it would be sin in you, and the LORD your God will surely require it of you." Marriage is a vow taken in front of God. If my STBX is divorcing me for no good reason, and your ex too, then there will have to be an account for that action. I don't make the rules.