Haven't heard from you in a while. Just checking in to see if your ok. Hope all is as good as can be and that your Thanksgiving day is good. It's going to my first alone without the stbxw.

She asked me if I ever fanatside about having another woman with us. I said no, now I wonder was that the wrong answer? Was she trying to reach out to me and I just didn't pick up on it? Everyoone whether they choose to admit it or not has done things that they felt would make everything better. You have shared a lot and I thought maybe if we did some of that it would have helped. I don't know it is all in the past now. All I do know is that I to would have done whatever it took to keep us together. Thanks for opening up. The process is long and it sucks but try to be strong - I already can see that you are - because it's hard. Get some rest.

I guess I totally missed what you actually meant by your question, so I'll try it again... =) Being sexually attracted to the opposite sex is biology, and if I have a secure relationship with my husband, I am still attracted to and fantasize about other men (and yes, sometimes women). I enjoy the comfort and security of my husband, though I do find myself attracted to others - I could not leave my marriage for someone other than myself. The ability to act out sexual fantasies appealed to me, and to my husband, and to have the support of the other person (spouse) is one of the ultimate gifts. I also hold a belief of "tit-for-tat" when it comes to just how much one gives/takes in a relationship. To be able to enjoy sex with other men, and allow my husband to enjoy sex with other women, while we still were faithful to each other in every aspect and still wanted to be married to each other and see each other every day...what an ultimate Utopian world thought. I guess that's what it boils down to...the world is not Utopian, but in our marriage, we want to try to have that Utopia together. Long and short of it...and I don't know if it makes sense, but that's about the only way I can explain it right now.