This whole process is so painful and pretty much everyone here is hurting or we wouldn't be on this site. I'm having a lot of trouble too. I'm a little concerned about you right now since I've read your posts and it seems that perhaps you aren't seeing clearly. I'm not either, which is why I'm here. I'm a little concerned that you were ready to meet with a married woman. I'm sure in saner moments you realize how much harm that would cause. SInce you have a daughter, you must realize that you wouldn't want a man to use her body for his sexual release with no thought about her hopes, dreams or feelings. This is why I'm sure you understand that it is not the right thing to do, even if she wanted it. I'm also thinking that the joke you shared with her was your way of telling her about your feelings for you wife. I'm sure that you are only doing this right now since you;'re hurt, but I'm hoping that perhaps if I mention it you might be able to see that you are reacting out of your own hurt, but are hurting others in the process. I am so sorry for your pain.

Thanks for the excellent post and the website. Sounds like a lot of us have been through the same thing. Thank God, they cut us loose and we can all have better lives now without the psychos! Best of luck to you.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm ordering the book from amazon today along with another that I want. Maybe it will help! I've been reading a book called unstuck, by James gordon. I picked it up since I seem to have a hard time moving forward, It's about depression. I didn't think I was depressed, but maybe i am since I feel stuck. It's kind of funny. All of my friends I've made since I started the divorce think I'm a positive happy person. That is my nature, always up, but then when I come home if I'm alone I cry as the reality of being alone comes crashing down. I'm coping by having an on again off again boyfriend, my choice. i don't know if it's healthy but it certainly has kept me from going completely nuts. I like him a lot but he plays a lot of games.