So...I am cleaning my entire two story townhome in preparation for our first time ever hosting New Years Eve gathering for two days straight. Friends and family....something different this year. Well my brother in law who is a widowed, single father of three arrives at 5:15am N.Y.E. morning. Happy to see him after 4 years of m.i.a. OF COURSE, especially my nieces ages 14, 12 and 8. My three kids were elated and obviously my sbtx was over the top excited. Now that the excitement of seeing family members we rarely see has worn off I've had time to THINK about the entire situation. How uncomfortable it has ALWAYS made me feel to just have visitors related or not to just drop in without any kind of notice. I find out that brother in law is here to stay. Moved back to our city from Florida. Well...my stbx has gotten progressively frustrated about the few questions I've asked regarding the sudden increase in bodies in our "rented townhome" that we DO NOT OWN. My thing is...our marriage has been and is on the brink of a breakdown. Has been for a while if you've read any of my many posts. My opinion is...if we can barely fix us...we don't have the time, means, funds, or now minor patience to allow an entire family take over our home and our already bad air. So stbx has not yet even tried to ask what my brother in laws intentions are, how long he plans on staying etc. Basic questions one would ask any guests residing in their home longer than a weekend. I feel completely out of place in my own home. I was planning on letting the holidays past and have a sit down moment with stbx about what the future holds for our marriage. I truly am completely emotionally withdrawn. So much to the point where he's been questioning why we don't "make love" any more. Well having 4 extra bodies in the home makes it quite hard to not only make and find time but for me to even get in the mood to do so. I feel that I am being selfish in not speaking directly to my husband and telling him the truth of where i stand which is wanting to let the marriage go...hopefully co-paren

Hi, welcome to d360. Let me know if I can help with anything at all. I thought I’d send this quicky ‘how-to-get-started’ note and leave it on your wall. I hope it helps you. Here’s what I usually do here. Every day I 1) log on to the site. Simply type in your email and password to get started, then I come here, to the MyStuff/Profile page so I can see if anyone has answered my blog or question. If they have, I click on it and answer them back. 2) Then I check the ‘scroll’..That’s the stuff at the top of this page. It changes every time a friend does something, like post a blog or comment on a question. TRICK: the more friends you have here, the more your ‘scroll’ changes. So make sure to befriend lots of people. 3) Then I usually change my status…that’s up there, on top of this page, by your name. click it and type in whatever you are doing…’getting coffee’ or ‘going to lunch’. When you update that, it notifies all of your friends in their scroll…so they know you are online now. 4) Then I usually add a new question or a new blog post. That’s easy to do…from here look up a little on the page and see the words Blog and Advice. Right next to each one is “add new’. Click that and start typing. Hit submit and your post goes directly to the site home page for everyone to see and read and comment on. Blogs are usually longer and more detailed, while Advice/Answers are usually quick questions you need help on right now. Read some other members to get a feel for it and then start your own blogs and questions! 5) Then I start answering other peoples stuff…I’ll read blogs and post my comments…and I’ll read questions and post my answers to try to help other people. That’s the goal here. All of our opinions and experiences really help. 6) Then I’ll start writing on some of my friends wall…..that’s this area right here. It’s really good for quick questions to one member or personal jokes or a little note. 7) Click the People tab to see what members have something in common with you (based on your tags) and say Hi. Thanks and welcome…paula

I am playing what I call the "back and forth" game. It's truly tiring and wripping all the self worth I have out of me. I am so scared of what my kids future will hold without their two parents being together. I've longed for a Dad my entire life. He was killed when I was only a year and a half. So the fact that I had this dreamy guy or what i THOUGHT was a dream guy back in high school has turned into something that has taken a path all on it's own with BOTH of us at fault. I sometimes wish I could just blame all the issues on him but being an enabler (me) is just as bad as being the cause. I am having a moment right now and really need someone to help me through this. It's obviously holiday season, kids LOVE holiday season as most of us adults should too. However, all I can now think of is how do I sit him down and tell him I don't want this marriage anymore? WHat's going to be on the Thanksgiving menu? and then right back to how do I remove myself from this? I don't like having sex anymore, I do it more so once a week if that just to not have yet another negative "thing" in the air. This morning the reason for my post to you tho is truly mind boggling. JUST MAYBE it's me but I'd rather get an outside opinion that's worthy of my doubts. So on the drive to work sbtx and I are going at it because of a simple question. I may have reacted more than thought through or I may be valid in my reaction and hurt feelings. I asked him "when are you going to get the job application from the hospital that Ms. L was asking you to come get?" Ms. L is the woman trying to get him a job because she works at the hospital and can get him in as security or housekeeping just to give you background. His online application for whatever reason didn't get to department it needed to. He says "I am just going to ask my sister to go get it for me!" Before you respond his sister has 4 little girls under age 11, her six year old has been back and forth in and out of hospital this month with the flu and touch of pneumonia. JUDGE THAT YOURSELF! So I then proceed to ask...."