YOU made the decision to go outside your marriage. She did not CAUSE YOU TO DO IT YOU MADE THE CHOICE. You need to take the responsibilty of your actions. The only one responsible for your life is you. If you are unhappy...work it out, communicate. Therapy helps if you make an effort and acknowledge your actions. Don't lead your wife on letting her believe that she is safe and secure in her marriage. No matter what her faults are you married her to begin with. Be honest and fix it or leave. Set the example for your children.

Hi Jonas....It sounds like you are not comfortable for having crossed the line, that dark tunnel that you mentioned could it be that you feel ashamed of yourself, embarassed? We all have our internal morals and if yours is telling you that you are not o.k with what you are doing then you have to try to make yourself comfortable with what you are doing. There are a lot of things to look at here. First of all the women that you are having the relationship with outside your marriage is also in the wrong. As wonderful as she may seem there is her moral character to look at. I do not know her but the sexual feelings in the beginning of a relationship or affair are always fun and exciting but after that it comes down to the real person, do you want a person who will be up front and honest to share your time with. I do not think anyone of us have enough information to diagnose your wife as bipolar or should tell you that you need to keep your kids away from her, that is crazy. I do not know your wife either, but mood swings could be caused from a variety of reasons. Typically alot of men think women have mood swings. We women have the hormal thing going on which doesn't help, it could be a hormonal balance of some kind. I think going to another person to find a solution is like going to booze, drugs, or alchol, it is only going to mix you up more. Surely you can find other means of happiness in life if you can't find it with your spouse right now. Spend more time with your kids, they need you more right now then a women outside of your family. Maybe your wife wants out of the marriage as well but is scared or maybe does not know how to approach it with kids and all. I would suggest that you both go to counsiling so that you can both get to the bottom of the problems and then you both or one of you can decide if you want out. In the mean time what about the children, kids are like sponges I am sure they are feeling the turmoil, maybe they could use some counsiling too. How do you want to handle this so that you will have the most respect for yourself in th

Well, I will give you honest advice and be a listening ear if you want it. No judgments...no worries.