Thank you for your kind response. I will definitely track down the book you recommended. I agree, it is tough to keep it together in front of the kids. I never thought our family would be in this situation. As much as I mourn my friendship and marriage with my husband, I miss our family unit and the stability and dreams that I thought came with it. I feel like I failed my children, because they don't have the family stability I had and loved growing up. I know we can all rebuild, but it is tough some days. Thank you for your kind words of support. It sounds like you have tough road too. Hang in there for yourself and be there for your kids.I had a friend whose parents went through a divorce and she said the hardest part was feeling like she couldn't rely on them because they were so preoccupied with their relationshp falling apart. No photos from that time, no outings, nothing. I've been trying to take a ton of pictures and do fun (and cheap) things with the kids (mine are 11 and 6). I try to go for bike rides, walks, play games and do kid-yoga. I'm dreading the cold weather because our family walks are enjoyed by everyone. in fact, my daughter who is 11 said she loved the walks and is grateful we're not doing any "family bonding" because that would be boring. hee hee...The best thing about these family activities is that as time goes by, I don't miss my ex during them but forget about him entirely because I'm so immersed in having fun. It is nice to laugh again.

Meredith, You are hurting in many ways. It looks like you still love him. For your own health and balance, you need to find ways to get him out of your emotional being. I don't even pretend to know how, but I might suggest more activities with the kids (parks or anything healthy that can ease hime out). Hang on tight. This too, shall pass.

Hi, welcome to d360. I thought I would send you this quicky 'get started' email to help you figure out the site.

1. okay, this is your wall. Members leave semi-private notes or jokes here. Go to any members Profile page (by clicking on their name, and scroll down to the bottom…and there's the wall. You should check it often to see if anyone has left you a note.
2. We are on your Profile/MyStuff page right now. You can do everything from here. All of your friends are here, your blogs, comments and groups.
3. You have private email here as well. Upper right hand corner of this page is your Inbox link. Click it and you can send private emails to any member. Just type in their site name and send.
4. You can ask questions from here. Scroll up a bit from the wall and you'll see Advice. Click Add New and start typing a question. When you hit submit it will be published in real time to the community (and on the home page of the site). Everyone can see it, read it and comment on it. You can come back to it anytime you want to and read the comments from this page as well. Just click it and go.
5. You can post blogs here too. Blogs are usually longer and more detailed personalized stories. Scroll up a bit from here, see Blogs, click Add New and start writing.
6. If you like a members posts or a particular story, you can click the Follow button or the Alert Me link and you will be alerted via email whenever there is activity. I hope this helps. If you have any questions, let me know.

Thanks, Paula