Hi HBP - I'm glad you got something out the the site Jed runs, he is a brilliant man with a passion for helping others. How are things going? Any progress?

Hi HBP - If I was working with you and your wife I would ask her to come in for an individual session first. I would want to get to know her and hear her side of the story. If she refused I would be unable to get a full picture of what is happening... sort of like how it is now. If I were able to talk with her I would ask her to describe how she is feeling about the marriage, you the kids and herself. I would ask her about her medical condition and how it is affecting her moods and body. (In addition to counseling I am also an herbal medicine MD) so I treat clients holisticly - body and mind. I would ask her how balanced she feels, if she is unclear about her direction in life, how she feels about her accomplishments thus far. I would be looking for signs and symptoms of underlying hormone imbalances, mood disturbances, generalized dissatisfaction with life, personal regrets. I don't know if this helps you or not. I hope so. Why are you so desperate to stop the divorce? I don't know why, but thus far you have said it is because you still love your wife and you don't want to break up your family. I accepted that, since it seemed like a logical reason and was emotionally genuine. Where does the line between kid time and self time exist? That is tough. Kids need parents to be emotionally available and present during a crisis. Divorce is a family crisis. That said, adults also need to have their own life. You have to discern where the healthy line is drawn according to the needs of your kids balanced with your own adult needs. That line can be fuzzy and may need to be moved as your kids need change. BTW, what did you think of Jed's stuff?

HI HBP - The whole point is to realize that you aren't the only one going through this stuff. That's why I sent you to that site. Lots of folks go through this kind of thing. Some come out okay, some don't. The other site is excellent. Let me know what you thought of it after you read some of Jed's stuff. I would love a happy ending too. Only time will tell. Best - Lisa