Thank you for your response on my blog. I wish I had your strength. I was just fed up with him "complaining" about everything and he hasn't done a damn thing to expedite the process or anything. Now that the OW is moving here in 2 weeks and starting a business, he's freaking out about any delays. I've always taken care of everything so now that I told him it's his turn he's freaking out. He doesn't know HOW to take care of things. I admire your strength to move on. I am in counseling to try and move on. He's been my life for 22 years. Can you say co-dependency? This will take time. It also hurts that I'm doing what I can to become a better person and he continues to dig a hole. It's hard to watch.

Well it's been a while since i've been on. We actually tried to reconcile three months ago, he moved back home for four days. Then I discovered he had lied yet again and cheated on me while we were reconciling. Well better I find out sooner rather than later that he is most definately a dog. Only problem I have is that he didn't apologize or make every effort to stay married he left me couldn't stand not being trusted lol. Well that was three months ago. He now lives with his girlfriend that he dated while we were reconciling. I'm dog crap on his shoe he wants to get rid of and our kids all older who live with me are also being dismissed. I have threats of being cut off of support, declaring bankruptcy. I've taken most of the money out of the line of credit to cover me for the lawyer and for the house and kids if he decides to cut me off. I just got a job it starts in a month. But i am an ECE and we don't make much money working with kids. So today he will be served by the lawyers, mediation was horrible and a waste of money. Not that lawyers won't be a waste of money but they can deal with his threats. i have a boyfriend, we've been dating for almost three months. A really nice guy who has great big shoulders to help me and love me through this chaotic time. FIngers crossed it will last past the chaos. Divorce is horrible, but if you put all the bad times I've had in my 26 year marriage the only differance is that there are no breaks from the bad. I'm looking forward to light at the end of the tunnel. Fingers crossed it comes sooner rather than later. Oh yeah, forgot to metion that stbx doesn't know yet that I've taken the money out of the line. He won't have any money to pay for his lawyer, maybe he can borrow some from his girlfriend. I have to look out for my three kids and my granddaughter but I fear his wrath. He has been physically and mentally abusive in the past. Ugly with an emphisis on UG!

Thank you for the advice, it was good to hear that there is another side. I was so caught up with the poor me feelings that I lost sight of the fact that there are two people going through this. 20 years we have been together all came down to who will give up what and how soon can it get done. I hope it is as stressfree as possible for you.