I'm drowning.... served divorce papers 5 mos ago. Got a temp visitation order in place 4 months ago, but it was retracted a month later!. New hearing for the same thing again set for next week with a new judge presiding. I just got the latest accounting from my counsel... I'm already $11k in the hole ... AND NOTHING HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED YET! No divorce yet. No parenting plan agreed to yet. STBX wont consider mediation, keeps refusing it. STBX / opposing counsel keeps postponing deposition (his counsel is always "unavailable" but no alternate dates are given!). I just filed my taxes, will have to turn over entire refund to counsel and then I think he's still going to drop me. He knows I'm tapped out financially, I'm now officially living paycheck to paycheck with bills overflowing and still trying to keep a roof over our heads (me & child). STBX's plan is to drive me into poverty, force me to lose home so I can (as he tells family members) "move back home and be a family again". In other words, (what's he's really saying to me) "Who are YOU to leave me? You'll leave when I say you can leave and I'll find you no matter where you go" What happens if this 2nd attny drops me because they know I can't afford what they are now calling a "highly litigious case". I've mentioned other counsel is VERY hostile towards me for some reason (not sure if it's all show for STBX's benefit or not??? ) and I believe it's not just the STBX that's trying to play hardball. I think other attny sees a nice sucker/ cashcow and is taking it for what it's worth, no matter the outcome. I cant afford to do anymore filings and court dates ... especially when nothing is getting resolved. What are my options here? I've tried legal aid, they told me I didnt qualify. Any ideas??

Eve thanks for your insight, Yes i did feel Lucky for having sex with the stbx it made me feel like i was still in a marriage, then it made feel used and hurt again. I guess there are so many questions, like she may be doing the same thing with someone else and here i am like a fool. I will enjoy the tequila, but will not abuse it.Take care

Eve, thank you so much for you words! It makes me feel better to know that what I'm doing, althought it will hurt, is rational.