i just joined this site and can say that i feel your pain! I am in nearly an identical situation (3 kids, 17+ yrs marriage, etc). Wife wants the divorce...we have started the proceedings already. We are using a mediator for our divorce...not sure if this is the right move or not but we've already given her $1500+ (and i think that is just about all that we'll owe - final docs are being prepared and have already been paid for). Our marriage demise was mainly over money issues! I fought tooth and nail about 4 years ago to not move as we were in a decent house and neighborhood at the time and comfortable from a $$ standpoint. House was 5 minutes from work too. Wife has been a stay at home mom since our oldest was about 2 and a half (almost 12 years ago). We ended up making the move which has been an extreme financial strain as well as a good 30 minute drive to and from work for me. About 2 years ago, she said she does not love me and wants a divorce. I have pleaded and tried to do all the "right" things and the helpful, romantic ones as well but to no avail. She does not want therapy either. She went to see an individual therapist to help her deal with the decision she had already made and suggested that I see one as well. I am quite lost and confused by the entire situation.

i think i am a sweet guy ans my wife of 16 years is nuts for not fighting to keep us together i do not want my kids to be brought up like that

Hi, welcome to d360. Let me know if I can help with anything at all. I thought I’d send this quicky ‘how-to-get-started’ note and leave it on your wall. I hope it helps you. Here’s what I usually do here. Every day I 1) log on to the site. Simply type in your email and password to get started, then I come here, to the MyStuff/Profile page so I can see if anyone has answered my blog or question. If they have, I click on it and answer them back. 2) Then I check the ‘scroll’..That’s the stuff at the top of this page. It changes every time a friend does something, like post a blog or comment on a question. TRICK: the more friends you have here, the more your ‘scroll’ changes. So make sure to befriend lots of people. 3) Then I usually change my status…that’s up there, on top of this page, by your name. click it and type in whatever you are doing…’getting coffee’ or ‘going to lunch’. When you update that, it notifies all of your friends in their scroll…so they know you are online now. 4) Then I usually add a new question or a new blog post. That’s easy to do…from here look up a little on the page and see the words Blog and Advice. Right next to each one is “add new’. Click that and start typing. Hit submit and your post goes directly to the site home page for everyone to see and read and comment on. Blogs are usually longer and more detailed, while Advice/Answers are usually quick questions you need help on right now. Read some other members to get a feel for it and then start your own blogs and questions! 5) Then I start answering other peoples stuff…I’ll read blogs and post my comments…and I’ll read questions and post my answers to try to help other people. That’s the goal here. All of our opinions and experiences really help. 6) Then I’ll start writing on some of my friends wall…..that’s this area right here. It’s really good for quick questions to one member or personal jokes or a little note. 7) Click the People tab to see what members have something in common with you (based on your tags) and say Hi. Thanks and welcome…paula