I read a comment you made on another post. You didn't do anything to cause her affair. You are not responsible for her actions. She is. If there were problems in the marriage, she could have talked to you about it, tried counseling, even asked for a divorce. Cheating was a coward's way out. It is wrong. She promised to forsake all others. She didn't. The only thing you can change is yourself. SO if you need to fix something, work on the way you relate to her, spend time with her, figure out what you need to do for your part in the marriage, but don't blame yourself for her cheating. You might also want to read a lot of the other blogs on here. A lot of people took back a cheating spouse only to have them cheat again. They said they recognized their part in the cheating. In other words, they gave the cheater justification for their actions. That is the problem with accepting blame. I guess I would make an exception if she cheated because you did it first, but then that's such a mess I wouldn't know how to deal.

I am struggling with what to do with my marriage. My wife informed me in 2007, she had a sexual affair in 2000 with a co-worker. We worked thru this and she started counseling to determine what happened. But a week ago she informed me at the time she started counseling she had to stop an office email relationship that had started, where her and the other guy had email inappropriate questions and responses to each other. The conversations were about favorite positions, threesomes, etc. She is pregnant and I question if it is truely mine. I am struggling with what to do because I don't trust her anymore and obviously can't make her happy.

Hi, welcome to d360. I thought I would send you this quicky 'get started' email to help you figure out the site.

1. okay, this is your wall. Members leave semi-private notes or jokes here. Go to any members Profile page (by clicking on their name, and scroll down to the bottom…and there's the wall. You should check it often to see if anyone has left you a note.
2. We are on your Profile/MyStuff page right now. You can do everything from here. All of your friends are here, your blogs, comments and groups.
3. You have private email here as well. Upper right hand corner of this page is your Inbox link. Click it and you can send private emails to any member. Just type in their site name and send.
4. You can ask questions from here. Scroll up a bit from the wall and you'll see Advice. Click Add New and start typing a question. When you hit submit it will be published in real time to the community (and on the home page of the site). Everyone can see it, read it and comment on it. You can come back to it anytime you want to and read the comments from this page as well. Just click it and go.
5. You can post blogs here too. Blogs are usually longer and more detailed personalized stories. Scroll up a bit from here, see Blogs, click Add New and start writing.
6. If you like a members posts or a particular story, you can click the Follow button or the Alert Me link and you will be alerted via email whenever there is activity. I hope this helps. If you have any questions, let me know.

Thanks, Paula