Hi Cjent, I can relate to your situation as I am currently in the same type marriage. He has asked me to leave only to change his mind and tell me not to go. He has asked for a divorce twice and this last time I told him okay. So then he said "let's give it 6 months and see what happens". Yes, he is bipolar, a narcissist, who refuses any help and see everyone else as the one who has the problem. A Jeckyl and Hyde personality. Reading information on narcissism has helped me tremendously in realizing there is no hope in salvaging my marriage. I did agree on the 6 months, not because I believe there is hope, but only because our youngest will soon be out of school and I didn't want to upset his senior year. The harm this relationship has caused my children is far greater than that being raised in a single parent home. I only wish I had realized who he really is sooner.

Thank you for your response. Since I have read this book called Bully in your relationship by Anne Renee' Testa. I can clearly see the emotional abuse I have been experiences and I understand why my stbx is a abuser. He probably wish he could physcially abuse me but he knows that is totally out of the question...since he was physically and emotional abused as a child.

I thought I was over all of the sadness, to only find that I am having trouble sharing my children with "them". I was with my oldest son and his family for a day in Panama City Beach this past weekend. We came back early so they could spend time with the ex and "her". They were late coming back over to my house and the ex calls to ask my son to come back over to assist with the computer. I told my son to tell him no! Yet, I realized that it was his choice and told him to go ahead. It made me sooooo sad when I found out thru the son that they are happy. I know I am blessed to have him out of my life, yet it makes me soooo sad knowing he is doing EVERYTHING to make her happy and to make this marriage work. Why could he not have tried to make ours work? I know I will probably never know the answer to this, but deep inside, I really want this relationship to fail. BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!