ya know what funny...i have mediation next wensday ...hopefully to finalize all this crap...have my kids this weekend and thats great...i love it when they come over..i have agreed to pay more than whats expected of me in child support to cover the mortgage..this whole divorce is being turned into money issues..which in a way i guess is expected..she hasent gotten a job yet...is trying to work part time ....had one of our mutual freinds call up .and while the fact of money is being brought up ...the sound of it was like because im not handing over my check every week to her im the d**k...lets forget the fact she found somebody on line ...left me and 4 kids behind to fly to england for a month to see if things would work ..and when they didint i took her back only to have her do other things ...almost three years of her living like a single woman ..now im not trying to victemize my self but ..if a man would have done this to a woman ...hed be nailed by the jewel sack to a tree and beaten to death...maybe im still hurt...maybe im just angry that i feel like the issues to our divorce are being ignored (what led to it )..i dont want to make it an issue..but i know that we have children we have to raise together..and thats the most important thing to me ...and getting this behind me so that i can fully heal and get to the point that we may even be able to share a laugh together for the kids sake is important to me...reconciliation is not going back..but gettin to the point where we can act like grown ups...sane, happy , healed grown ups..i dunno..maybe its a pipe dream ..but so many times we hear how some man does a woman wrong ...ive found out women can be as bad as men ..( yeah maybe im a bit naive) but ya know what ..men hurt just as bad as women when we are hurt...im just glad its almost over with ...

Hi, I am going down momof4illinois friends list and asking everyone if they have heard anything from her. There is a concern if she is okay or not. If you have heard from her or about her, can you let others know. People on d360 are very concern. Thanks, chris

Chino, Well if you are crazy, I would hazard a guess the rest of us are too. I think it is grieving. It seems weird to call it that when nobody died but an important relationship died, what we had with that person died and yet they are still here to torment us, at least when you have kids and have to deal with them still because of the kids. It gets easier. I am sure when you started this whole process (found out) you had pretty much all bad days, now you have good days and bad days, then it will be good days and bad moments. It takes time and I hated hearing that, I wanted to hurry up and feel better but we have to take the steps, some take them faster than others but we can't skip over them or we won't heal. Hang in there!