I know exactly how you feel. When my ex left, I felt like some essential part of my self had been ripped out, because it had been so long since I focused or thought of myself. All my efforts had been for and on him. I didn't know who this person even was who was left behind. Now, I'm beginning to find out who she is. It's an interesting journey, though not easy. I try to do something nice or positive just for me everyday. It might be taking care fixing my hair and makeup. It might be using some rather expensive skincare products daily (I never would have bought them in the past). It might be getting in a little extra reading. I'm trying to remember the things I liked to do before their was an 'us' and start to revisit these things. Little by little, it's helping me to feel good about me! I can't expect others to like and respect me much, if I don't feel that way about myself.

Thanks for your post "AGAIN." I am working on my relationship with my daughter. She is 19 and is the best!

Thank you for your post. You are right, our gut instincts should be followed. Every time I have had a "feeling" about something, it has been right. Even if it was just about some girl he was talking to on facebook that was a high school era friend. Everytime I feel something is not right with him, I find what that is. Right now, my gut is telling me I am scared this will never end. I miss my family who hates him. I miss my daughter who I made move out because of all the fighting. I miss the peace of just being with my kids and paying my bills and all the normal stuff. I miss not having to defend everything I do and say or feel like I am the one who did something wrong.