My Story ::  Troll54321

How Did You Meet?

We atcually started chatting online and got along really well, then we met.  She flew to meet me.  I went over a couple of times (she is from England and I am in NC).  After about 6 months I brought her over and we got married.    

Describe your marriage before the problem.

The first few years were ok by all accounts, I deployed 3 times to Iraq and we seemed to get along fine, I loved it.  I finally got a job where I did not have to deploy for a while and I thought things were fine.  About Sept 08 I think we started getting into a rut and she was kind of unhappy.  But there was a lot more going on, she had a new job was on anti-depressents among other things.        

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

Back in Nov 08 she said she had feelings for a guy, her temp manager at work, and that she wanted to find out for sure.  We talked about it (she had been seeing him socially for over a month and hid it from me) and i said if that is what she wanted then she could.  She ended up sleeping with him and said in the end that he was just a good friend.  It hurt but I wanted her to be with me because she wanted too.  But anyway we stayed together and went from there.  In March we went to counseling and i said that I did not want her to see him anymore until we worked on us.  She said she would, lied about it and then refused anymore sessions.  We kind of existed together until June when she asked me to move out.  I was blind sided, ut the day I moved out she had a NEW boyfriend move in.        

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

I started the seperation paperwork and have tried to talk to her.  I said I want to work things out and have started seeing a shrink to help me.  She said she wanted to be with me too, then changed her mind and then no and now yes again.  THough this time she says she still wants to work on it after a week.  I told her we will try, but that I am moving forward with the seperation just in case we do not work things out.  i have told her that I forgive her and want to be with her.  But to be honest the guy still lives there (she swears it was just a fling and he is a friend that needs a place to stay) and if we make any knd of progress I am going to give the ultimatum that he gets the hell out.  I do love her and want to be with her, but I am trying to save our marriage because I do love her and it would be good for our 2 children.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear is not being an intergral part of my kids lives. Our daughter is actually a step child, but I have raised her for almost 7 years from the age of 4 so I still want to be a part of her life.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

Cover your ass, I am slightly paranoid and try to cover all of my bases when dealing with her, because even though my heart may get stepped on there is no reason that I should.
Try to be as amlicable as possible.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?