My Story ::  tigger21

How Did You Meet?

college. freshman year. We were 18 and 19. My family disapproved. Us against the world.
 

Describe your marriage before the problem.

There was no one problem. More like we stopped " seeing" each other. I guess we grew apart.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

I realized that we had a problem the first year of marriage. He worked 24 hours a day to climb the corporate ladder and prove to the world that he was somebody. Only one year turned in to 10 and he never seemed to slow down and take a break. Slow down and realize that the two kids who fell in love 18 are long gone, and that the adults who took their place don't actually spend anytime together. Or have anything in common. And I already knew that he was somebody--he never needed to prove that to me.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

The big mistake. We let it fester, like an open sore. Never able to bridge some invisible emotional gap between us. It just got bigger and bigger each year. We had no idea what productive communication was. After  being seemingly depressed for the better part of two years he wakes up one morning and tells me that he thinks he should move out for awhile. That he didn't think this was working. I was completely side swiped, I pride myself on not being one of those "naive" women. He started coming home later and later, and other "odd, out of character" behavior. That was the final trigger for me--this is really happening. He kept saying that it was too hard for him to be here. Like he was doing me a favor by staying, out of pity or something. So I packed all his stuff in plastic trash bags, told him to get out. Truthfully? I think he was secretly relieved. Seven days later we met for lunch, he told me that he was thinking of asking a girl from work out on a date. I thought he was going to ask to come home. I felt like a fool.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

The huge drop in my financial status

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

1. Make sure that you have a good support system in place they will become your life line.

2. If you can try Therapy. It helps speed your personal healing and growth.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?