My Story ::  Shurt2729

How Did You Meet?

We met years ago by both of us being designated drivers for our friends on a night out.  We talked and hit it off, and began dating from there.  It was a difficult situation for both of us at the beginning, but we fought through it and loved each other completely getting married in 2000.    

Describe your marriage before the problem.

Before the problem our marriage was great.  We had three kids, a seemingly open line of communication, and while we struggled some financially we were still making all of the payments and living well.        

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

We had been arguing off and on for about a year and I was under the impression it was about the things we were actually arguing about.  Little did I know that she is now telling me that she was unhappy and felt emotionally disconnected to me.  We finally discussed the root cause and I made every effort to re-connect with her, and it was good for a couple of weeks.  Then she started going out with Katie.  Katie began flirting with her and I knew she had some curiosities.  I allowed her to pursue her feelings with Katie so long as she was 100% honest with me and didn't stop loving me.  She always assured me that if anything developed that she would choose our family first.  Then she was less forth-coming, and reclusive.  I felt I was being lied to so I did some things that violated her trust with me, but it only confirmed that I was right with what she was doing.  We finally separated on June 22nd, 2009.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

I have fought like hell trying to win her love back.  She was the one who initiated the separation agreement and such, but she is unwilling to give me any time, effort or attention so that we could possibly work things out.  Instead she has put more time and attention into Katie, and has since walked out on me and cut her time with the kids in half. 

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear is for the kids, and how will this effect them long term.  Our oldest son has made some disparaging comments and has began to act out somewhat.  The younger two really don't have a clue as to exactly what is going on.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

Don't take anything for granted almost to the point of being paranoid, and just love each and everyday as if it is the last day you have with them. 

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?