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Apparently trusting your spouse is considered "naive" by some!



At church.  He was new in town and began attending my church.


I thought it was very good, he seemed very devoted, and I loved him very much.


Our daughter was diagnosed with cancer.  We also had a 2 year old, and I was 6 months pregnant.  My ex was upset and "lonely" because I could not come home and take care of him and his "needs".


We were in therapy for a long time - although after the divorce I realized it should have been for our marriage.  Instead, he found  the therapist to work with us on my issues - he was sure I had post-traumatic stress disorder at first, because suddenly I couldn't handle taking care of him, too.


Realizing that I really could not believe or trust him, and that all of his promises of love and faithfulness were empty.  He could never put me or the kids first, or even on an equal plane with his own needs, and especially, wants. He justified his choices by saying I did not love him (totally untrue), etc., and justified his actions by telling me I was "naive", apparently to expect him to honor his vows and do the right thing for his family.



Trust your gut feelings.  If it feels like something is wrong, and things are not what you are being told they are, you are probably right.  Secondly, make sure you are not allowing yourself to be treated poorly, or like a second-class citizen, in the name of love and comittment. Also, if your partner is very critical, then accuses you of having low self-esteem, or being overly sensitive, don't ignore it.  That's not a normal thing in a relationship - it's a controlling thing.



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