My Story ::  monica1970

How Did You Meet?

we met in a chat room on AOL. He was running a list maker and i didnt know what that was and why everyone was saying list me...I im'd him and he explained what it was...a way of sharing photos by sending once but goes to several people. Guess that should have been CLUE NUMBER ONE.

Describe your marriage before the problem.

Our marriage went from what i thought was good to horrible...we argued all the time....he blamed me for everything...our finances were going down the tubes....i started binge drinking on the weekends and i just felt like i wasnt the wife i was supposed to be because according to him i was the problem.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

After about 3 years of really bad times...and i found out he had an add on AFF and listed himself as single and no kids..and he said in his profile he would go "bareback" bc he was shooting blanks...he has had a vasectomy!! i found out he met a swingers couple on Mother's Day of 2007...he said he didnt go through with it and then he said he did but used a condom...but then he admitted he let them tape and no condoms were used...and yes i ask myself why am i still here...??? he has been going to ABS and glory holes for years now and i never knew anything ...he drove all day from one job site to another so he had plenty of time to do his thing. i only found all this out after i made an appt with marriage therapist only to find out my husband was a sex addict. he joined SAA and i have had many many disclosures...he just bring himself to only stab me in the heart one big time..he has to keep stabbing me repeatedly over and over...he has had 3 lapses since 2-08.....

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

He is in therapy and going to an intensive treatment facility in CO run by Dr. Douglas Weiss called the Heart to Heart Center. Dr. Weiss has a PHD in this field and has been as recovered sex addict for 21 years now. i wonder if i can get that lucky with my husband???

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

i put my deposit down...my greatest fear is being alone for the rest of my life because i have been lied to for 10 years now and i have no trust or faith. and i am sure i will run off anyone thats gets near me with my distrust. i keep telling myself to grin and bear it and this is better than growing old alone and dying alone.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

i dont think i have any tips.....i think i need the tips...sorry

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?