My Story ::  deborah-trevino

How Did You Meet?

I met him through a good friend of mine. 

Describe your marriage before the problem.

In all honesty, we had a pretty good relationship going on. We both worked hard and paid the bills together. At the beginning, he did have a bit of drinking going on, but later quit.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

I did not see any problems in the beginning of his cheating but now I look back, I notice that he did take ALOT of showers during the day, dressed rather nicely to go out on "estimates for jobs" wearing alot of cologne.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

The first time he cheated, I saw him with my own eyes with another woman and I immediately went home, packed my things, got the kids from school and totally left my own home, divorced him as well.... however, after about 8 months of being apart and his constant begging me to come back, I changed my mind, went back to him, thinking that he had learned his lesson. We got back together, he cheated again not only with the first one he was with, but another "friend" he had from the first time and even though I stayed a couple more years trying to work it out, he was not willing to help work on the relationship, only wanting me to forget about his cheating and go on like nothing happened, but I just couldn't trust him any longer.  I left him again.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear was being alone and paying the bills alone because I didn't know if I made enough money to make it on my own, with children.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

the hardest part of my divorce was having to face him, to look into his eyes because I still loved him so much but I couldn't face the betrayal and I knew that he was not willing to work things out.  I wanted so much for our marriage to work and I was really torn apart over his cheating.

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?

1. no matter how nice a person is while you are married, when you go through a divorce, they become a totally different person, so don't always trust what you thought the kind of person they used to be.
2. take care of you and your children.  They are the most important and don't always understand what's going on.