My Story ::  damselfish

How Did You Meet?

 We were neighbors and met at the pool on a hot summer day.  He was seperated from his wife at the time and I was in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend.

Describe your marriage before the problem.

Happy, excitieing, always having fun, very in love and felt like he put me on a pedastal.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

There were signs within the first year but I ignored them.  One major sign was when I became pregnant with our son and had to keep it a secret from his family.  Caught him in constant lies with people.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

I tried to make him an honest man.  i tried to make him face his fears and see how he creates his own drama and problems.  He is very self centered and driven only by his own wants and needs.  I at first went along with it and overtime the more I stood up to him or voiced my thoughts and feelings the more abusive and distant he became.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

That my 5 year old son is going to miss out on a lot and my heart breaks for him since his dad has little to do with him.  I fear that I am not enough and cannot offer enough as a single parent to my son and that he won't be happy.  I feel anger and depression at the very thought of my son spending time with what used to be mine - she has taken overy my life, my house, my husband, even works next to me (with him!).  It is pure torture and the thought of my son spending time with them as a "family" scares me to the point that some days I can barely function and all I do is cry.  I'm so angry.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

I don't have any tips.  So far it has been nothing but terrible.  I guess the only tip I have is if he left you for someone else don't believe he may come back to you when he wants to sleep with you.  I continued sleeping with my ex over the last year and emotionally it has kept me connected to him.  It has created drama in my life and pain greater than anything I have ever experienced especially when he lies to his girlfriend saying I am crazy and making it up.  I can't believe this man ever loved me seriously.  It seems like he deliberately has done everything in his power to hurt me and bring me down.  I gave everything to this relationship but it was never enough for him.   He has zero tolerance for my emotions and says I deserve to be sad and lonely.  He has kids from a previous marriage and has child support arrears for them.  He contributes nothing to the health and welfare of his son.  Tip:  Don't marry a man who has another family that he doesn't take care.  He will do the same to you.  You are no different.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?