My Story ::  cherbear

How Did You Meet?

MET IN A CLUB WHERE I WOULD GO DANCING WITH MY FRIENDS

Describe your marriage before the problem.

I THOUGHT I LOVED HIM,BUT I REALIZED I MARRIED HIM FOR THE WRONG REASON. I NEVER REALLY LOVED HIM.WE WOULD GO OUT HAVE FUN,DANCE, HAVE PARTIES AND HANG OUT. BUT HE ONLY ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM TO BECOME A RESIDENT OF THIS COUNTRY, I SAID I ONLY GET MARRIED ONCE AND I DID NOT BELIEVE IN DIVORCE. HE AGREED SO WE DID IT. IT WAS OK IN THE BEGINNING , I PUT HIM THROUGH SCHOOL MEANING COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY. I WOULD WORK 3 JOBS FOR HIM TO PAY THE BILLS.I HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS WHEN I WAS AT WORK, I WAS VERY YOUNG WHEN WE WERE MARRIED.I THOUGHT I WAS HAPPY BUT THEN THINGS STARTED TO HAPPEN.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

SPOKE WITH LOTS OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABOUT MY FEELINGS ABOUT HIM. HE EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ME WANTED THINGS FROM ME THAT I COULD NOT GIVE HIM. HE WOULD DRINK ON THE WEEKENDS THEN EXPECT ME TO DRINK,IF I DID NOT DRINK HE WOULD GET UPSET WITH ME AND START TELLING ME THAT I DIDNT LOVE HIM IF I DID NOT DRINK WITH HIM. I DID NOT AGREE ON LOTS OF THINGS HE WANTED ME TOO DO IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...... HE WAS VERY CONTROLLING ABOUT THINGS IN THE HOUSE. THE HOUSE HAD TO BE PERFECT WHEN HE WALKED INTO THE HOUSE. EVERYTHING HAD TO BE IN ITS SPOT. IF NOT HE WOULD COME HOME AND CLEAN TO A POINT THAT HE WOULD YELL AT ME. IF THERE WAS ONE DISH IN THE SINK I WOULD GET YELLED AT. I HAD TO ASK TO TURN ON THE AC IN THE HOUSE.WHAT ABOUT THAT. AND THE SAGA CONTINUES

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

WE TRIED TO GO TO MARRIAGE COUNCELING, BUT HE THOUGHT THAT ALL THE PROBLEMS WHERE MY FAULT, LOW AND BEHOLD THE THERAPIST FOUND HIM AT FAULT FOR MOST. I CANT SAY EVERYTHING BUT MOST. HE REALLY HURT ME AND DEGRADED ME SO I FILED FOR A DIVORCE.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

THE CHILDREN. HELPING THEM THOUGHT IT. EXPLAINING WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH MOM AND DAD.

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?

DONT GET THE KIDS INVOLVED AND DONT TALK ABOUT THE OTHER INFRONT OF KIDS  TELL THEM THAT ITS NOT THEIR FAULT THAT MOM AND DAD DONT LOVE EACH OTHER BUT WE STILL LOVE THEM.