My Story ::  cag

How Did You Meet?

we met on cupid.com-we talked a few times on the phone before we met.  Than we met at the art museum for our first date and just clicked.

Describe your marriage before the problem.

Our relationship has always been ill.  We argued/disagreed from our 3rd date on; and a majority of our free time. Both of us accused the other of being too controlling.  We told ourselves that this sickness was normal in a beginning relationship. There was virtually 12 hours of a "honeymoon" period in our dating.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

I kept thinking that I was being too paranoid and that  our arguing was normal.  I thought that maybe I just go with the flow and that all men in relationships if pushed to a certain point will threaten their wives, push them, threaten them, call them names.  I realized in June I was in big trouble.  He wanted me to get out of the suv and I wouldn't so he grabbed me by my hair and shirt and pulled me from the vehicle.  than when he came at me again I got scared and threw the cell phone at him-I don't know how-I have horrible aim-but somehow it hit him in the mouth.  I was standing on the concrete steps to our house and he picked me up by my hair again and threw me down on the steps.  Then he took the phone, drove away and yelled out the window that I better not call the cops.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

I knew in June that there was NO way our relationship was normal/healthy.  It had been dying a slow and painful death from the beginning. Our relationship was toxic.  My husband apologized, said he  was wrong. He said he would never let anybody push him to "that point" again, and he could promise me he would never even touch me when he was angry. I thought that God would want me to stay with him and work it out so I did.  We went to two counselors, we tried to separate but live together (for finacial reasons), but in dec. he got angry because I wouldn't give him the car keys.  He ripped my shirt and bruised my arm in the process of trying to get them and then pushed me down after he had gotten the keys.  I told him he was hurting me and he said too bad I shouldn't have brought it on myself.  I knew it was time pull the plug on our toxic relationship.  Since dec. I have been separted from my husband-we have just started talking again the past month. I have file for divorce (in jan.) but he has not been served yet.  I don't know if he will even agree to a divorce because he wants to get back together.  I say our relationship is on life support right now-in a coma- and it is minute to minute if our relationship will survive (it doesn't look good, it has suffered extensive damage).

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

my greatest fear is that my husband will hate me with all his heart and in the process be blinded by any potential harm he could cause to our daughter by his retaliation against me.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

1. try separation-it is a way to take time for both of you to try and salvage your broken hearts. 
2. stay single-don't try anything with anyone romantically until you are officially divorced.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

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If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?

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