My Story ::  123

How Did You Meet?

Collage.  In same group of friends and dated after we graduated.

Describe your marriage before the problem.

Had kids right away and I worked full time.  Had fun when we were together. In hindsight we did not spend enough time together.

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

4 years ago he told me he had an affair. It was long term and had gone on for 3 years.  He said he loved me dedicated to marriage etc.. I realized how much I loved him and we stayed togther. He promsed me he would never hurt me this way again.  We had a great 2 years after that and then he started working with his friend again who he had worked with before and the friend still had the secretary he had an affair with.  He promised me he barely worked with her. Started going out of town with friend (he owns a plane).  I was not invited because I yelled at him and the secretary after the affair.  Anyway, he started to pull away.  We stopped doing anything.  Even lunch.  He stopped instigating sex.  I started feeling stress and anxiety which pushed him further away because he did not want to be around it.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

He finally told me he did not want to be married in April. Took a few months to tell the kids and then he moved out.  Slept in another room until then.  Now he is in an apartment and told me he is happier being away from me.  Held on with false hope for a long time.  Starting to get realization that yes I really am going to get a divorce.  We have not started talking about when that will happen and how.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

Being a single Mom. Being alone.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

Try not to over analyze what happened.  Try not to have regrets on choices you made.  Try to see a happy future without your husband/wife.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

Has not happened yet and I am dreading that day that I sign the papers.

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?

N/A