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Presenting the Ask 

I woke up this morning and realized that I should have presented things differently to my ex. I should have "offered him the opportunity" to pay for half our daughter's trip to London. I thought that was what I was doing, but he didn't read it that way. Perhaps I should have suggested it as a graduation present. I could have asked for his input on whether she should go, but that seemed disingenuous since I had already decided she was going no matter what and that I would figure out a way to pay for it.

 

The bottom line is that I forget sometimes that I'm not dealing with a grown up, I'm dealing with a petulant, spoiled child. Am I sick of it? You bet. Do I resent it? Of course. Do I think he needs to grow up? Absolutely. But he is who he is and I need to remember that when dealing with him. I used to be better at it, knew how to frame things in a way that would manipulate him, but lately I am tired and over worked and it seems like a lot of effort.

 

It's an expensive lesson, though, in order to be reminded that I can't talk to him adult to adult. Next time, someone please remind me before I approach him about anything! :)

by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce  245 Posts 
Posted on 7/3/2008 8:26 AM
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Tags: difficult ex
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Comments for "Presenting the Ask"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)




So true, thanks for the reminder!
by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce   245 Posts
Posted on 7/3/2008 9:32 AM
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You have to remember to speek to him at his level and he is going to try not to understand you, that is his way of making your life hell. Don't fall into his trap of "I'm stupid and did not understand you"
by BBear   47 Posts
Posted on 7/3/2008 9:21 AM
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