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I could kick myself 

I cld just kick myself.  I stayed with my husband after he broke my fingers, cheated on me and treated me like crap. I stayed until I had a baby by him and my oldest by another suffered tremendously as a result of his abuse. Finally I left him and hate myself for not leaving before my precious 4yr old was born.  I had 3 miscarriages and almost wished that I had misscarried him too...only because of the trauma he has to experience because of his father's bitterness.  See, after 7 yrs I left him and yes I left him fo my 1st love, the one person that I have connected with and the one who is my soul mate.  My stbx is a terror and chooses to act like an ass, calling me all kinds of names...bitch whore you name it infrom of my son...this is because he cannot push me around because my love will not allow him to abuse me.  My stbs can't see that our marriage was bad, so bad that he sleeps in the sofa 24/7 until 2-3am every nite, sex was almost non-existence..maybe 2-3 times a month if so many, and yes it was not all that, there was much to be desired.  I truly wish I could turn back the hands of the clock....my son forgive me for choosing such a detestable day
by NAUDI  19 Posts 

Posted on 7/2/2008 1:55 PM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "I could kick myself"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)
Thanks guys, This site has been really helpful.  I hve already file for divorce and hv my hearing on 07/16 hopfully this will be final..I also have a restraining order againts him, as he has hurt me in the past and I fear that he will again..my family fears that I will end up in a morgue because of his bitterness..While I am concern about my safety, I am concern for my son's overall well being. He has told him so many things that a 4yr old has no business knowing.  This is not any different from what my stbx's father did with his son after his wife left him.  His family is very bitter and usually reponds in the same way he does.  He is mad that I left him, that is his right but to get my little 4yr old involved just breaks my heart.
by NAUDI   19 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 2:42 PM
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Naudi.  I'm sorry you went through so much before moving on.  You shouldn't be too hard on yourself.  We all suffer things in the name of love, no matter how misguided they seem to be later.  The important thing is that you're moving on and freeing yourself.  I would recommend that you talk to a counselor. It sounds like you have a lot of rage towards your husband.  Although it's justified, it needs an outlet, especially since you have a son.  Kid's pick up on these feelings and sometimes think it has to do with them.  A counselor can help you release the rage, move on, and make the most of your happy future.

I wish you the best.
by Robert-Boyd   3887 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 2:01 PM
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Whoa...sounds like you are just ready to burst.  First of all, be happy for your children.  Though it sounds you've been through the ringer, they are blessings pure and simple.  Second, divorce this man as soon as possible, and have the court order him to control his mouth around the kids, if necessary.  I believe the court can order both parties to refrain from trashing the other parent in front of the kids, if need be.  How sad it is that this is necessary.  But no matter what, kids DON'T need to hear that about their parents.  Adults should learn to control themselves!  You may have complicated matters a bit by leaving him for someone else, but maybe that person gave you the emotional boost you needed to finally make that change.  His physical and mental abuse went on for too long.  Is any of it documented?  If so, get a restraining order, and get some peace.  Good Luck to you, and your kids
by elane   339 Posts
Posted on 7/2/2008 2:00 PM
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