Drama Geek and I have had some serious conversations of late. We are both committed to our relationship and to each other. Therefore, it’s important to us that we do everything within our power to ensure the success of our relationship. That means we have to address our weaknesses in addition to our strengths.
One weakness that I think many couples have is in the financial department. I know that for Mr. Ex and me, money was a huge issue. Even when there was more than enough to go around, there was never enough because of over-spending. He was a chronic over-spender, while I would go on a spending spree in retaliation over months of financial famine. I knew even back then that neither of us was going about things the right way, but it’s hard to change when you’re not on the same page.
Drama Geek and I have worked very hard to get ourselves on the same page in many areas, but money has been our top priority. It was an issue in both of our previous marriages, and we don’t want it to be one between us.
The first step for us has been the uncomfortable task of sharing how much we make and how much we spend – and what we spend it on.
Surprisingly, that was more painless than I imagined. Both of us are matter-of-fact people who accept nothing can be done about the past but are committed to making decisions now to affect the future.
Now that we’ve outlined our income and expenses, we’re working on developing shared financial goals. There are some bills that are a high priority for me to pay off, and he has his own list as well. We also have things we want to do – like take a vacation together – that will require shared diligence in saving.
The hope is that by ironing out these details now, we won’t have them sneak up on us later.