As we move into the world of being divorced and thinking about dating again...for many of us it has been a long time.

The dating scene has changed...we get set in our ways, and it can be a very scary place to be.

I think back to when my first husband was killed. I was in an abusive marriage and actually didn't realize it until he was gone. I remember calling my sister in law and crying..I had no idea who I was anymore.

When I started dating...too soon after I might add. I was scared. I ended up being married to an exact opposite of my first husband but a bipolar disorder with a manipulative and controlling mother. Both of these people attempted to change me into what they wanted.

Soon after my divorce, I was able to become me again. I again was in the single world. I began to see the games ..........again it is scary.

It seems that when we begin dating , many of us are afraid to be ourselves. I am not sure why....maybe it is to be accepted and or loved.
 I have made the decision that whomever I date will see the real me. I will not hide things nor try to pretend I am someone or something that I am not. If I am dating someone and I see something other than what they first portrayed to me , it gets ended fast. I have told anyone who is interested..be real...be honest and be yourself and we will get along just fine. I have found that I can deal with anything as long as I know what I am dealing with. I will not pretend to like some activity just to please my significant other. I will try it ...but  be honest about it. If need be I will accompany him to such activities again. But he will not be led to believe that it is something that I truly love to do. I expect the same from him.

You see it on tv...and in the movies...that we pretend to like things or be a certain way to "catch someone" or to be accepted.

A friend of mine told me when I had just broken up with a boyfriend a few years ago, "if you  would not be so independent then maybe you would have a boyfriend."I looked her straight in the eye and said I am who I am. I am what I am because of events in my life. If changing me into a dependant person is what it takes to have a relationship then I will pass.  This does not mean that we don't compromise .... every relationship is give and take by both parties but it should be equal. It just means don't compromise yourself. Anyone who expects you to change who you are does not respect you but will try to make you into what they want you to be. Keep your eyes open ..........

Be real, be honest and be yourself....