Is Marriage Better The Second Time Around? 

If you are divorced, you might secretly wonder what marriage the second time around would be like. Would your new mate be everything your first one was not? Would he whisk you off your feet and restore your faith in true love? Unfortunately, statistics have proven that second marriages have even a higher divorce rate. So why then are some us so eager to jump back into marriage so soon after divorce? Many people have a selective memory about what their marriage was really like. They reminisce about the good times and conveniently forgot why they got divorced in the first place. After the initial phases of shock, anger and grief after divorce, you go through a loneliness phase. This can be a dangerous time. You may meet someone on the rebound and be convinced you are in love, making the hasty decision to remarry. What you really need to do is ride out the loneliness by becoming your own best friend. You need to spend time working on yourself. You cannot look to another person to complete you. Only when you are truly happy with your own company are you ready to begin a new relationship Another reason why most second marriages are doomed is that the issues that broke apart the first marriage have not been addressed. Take some time to discover why your first marriage ended. Yes, it may be your ex spouse’s fault, but what role did you have in the breakup? This is not a time for blame; it is a time for self reflection. By unearthing the reasons for the demise of your marriage you will be prepared to deal with these issues should they arise this time. Second marriages can work, but both parties must be free of the baggage from their previous relationships. Take your time. Do not rush into a new marriage after divorce. Be wise and make sure you’re ready for re-marriage.