Search our site

divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Community  :: andreanostramo  :: andreanostramo's Blog
profile

Personal Tags
   
space
ad by divorce360
ADVERTISING PARTNERS
Blogs
You can search for Blogs by tag here:


Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

Blog

Could A Low (or No) Sex-Drive Ruin YOUR Marriage? 

I was reading an article in one of my mother's old retirement magazines about this woman whose husband just up and left her after twenty-five years of marriage.  Why?  Because she lost interest in having sex with him.  I mean, REALLY lost interest.

It all started when she went through menopause.  Her doctor prescribed medication which worked on her hot flashes and sweats but not on her libido.  It simply didn't exist.  "It wasn't like I wasn't attracted to [my husband]," the woman, Joanna, explains, "it was more like I just didn't want sex, with anyone, at all."

Joanna's husband, Paul, was understanding...for awhile.  Then he started taking it all personally, continuously asking her if her lack of sex-drive meant that she didn't love him.  He kept asking her if she wanted out of the marriage or if she was seeing someone else; both answers were a resounding "no."

Then, one day, after almost a year of no sex, Joanna's husband said he wanted a divorce.  "He said he didn't want to cheat on me and that if he stayed in the marriage he was afraid he would," Joanna explains.

 

Some women - myself included - would see this as a bad sign and run for the nearest doctor's office and ask for some libido-increasing substance for women. Try a hot oil massage or something to get you in the mood, ANYTHING. This woman seemed not only turned off by sex, but she wasn't even interested in fixing the problem.

 

At the end of the article, the couple was still in the process of divorce proceedings, but the question arose as to whether or not her husband was a normal man with needs, who waited as long as he could and then kindly stepped out of the marriage instead of having an affair, or if he's a selfish horny toad. 

I am torn on this issue.  I wouldn't think much of my husband if he left me simply because I wouldn't put out, but then again, if my husband refused to have sex with me and didn't seem inclined to get help for the problem, I might get fed up and leave.  I don't know.

What do you guys think: is a sexless marriage enough of a reason to divorce?



by AndreaNostramo  132 Posts 
Posted on 6/26/2008 2:54 AM
Sent to Friendsend to friend
Tags: sex , sexless , marriage , libido

0




<< previous entry  |  See this User's
Full Blog		  |  next entry >>


Comment s for "Could A Low (or No) Sex-Drive Ruin YOUR Marriage?"  (6) (You must be logged in to answer)
I agree that "Its hard to be sentenced to celibacy when it wasn't your decision!"......

I am the girl who doesnt give it up. I dont feel that when my husband comes home, curses me out, complains and makes me feel terrible that when he is suddenly awwww, hunny, I should have to give it up. Thats like teaching a dog its okay to bite as long as you lick after. Rewarding for NO GOOD REASON.

I would understand if he left me....because i dont want to be sentenced to a celibant life either. Before all the issues we were having we had sex several times a day. Now, I just dont want sex with him. I still have the drive and the urge, but the thought of him makes me quesy!...I suppose it could be a combination of things including a breakdown of verbal communication.... thats when things seriously went down hill.
by Sunshine23   9 Posts
Posted on 7/12/2008 12:41 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0

I've been married for twenty years and suddenly last year my husband didn't want me anymore he says there's no one else. It's that he can't perfom but,he doesn't want to get help.Sure he'll ask the doctor for those pills like viagra but,they don't help he took and it didn't help much.But it's funny all those pills are gone and he didn't use them with me .He says he took them in case things went well one nite and we could have sex but ,when (and if )he took them when he was with me he never let on The problem really isn't the no sex issue it's the hands off,no hugging,no kissing.That all stopped over a year ago.Yes I want a divorce sad thing is I'm financially dependent on him.I want you all to know my husband kisses all his friends on the mouth and they are men he greets them with hug and a kiss on the mouth. He has a few women friends and he hugs them as well but no kiss.I guess that's his way of not cheating on me.Gee what a gift.Anyway my point reallyis (I was just venting before) that he knows what the problemis it's drinking,smoking,and he has high blood pressure and he won't take his medicne.All of those add up to ED. I've asked him to stop at least one of his bad habits.He flat refuses. Hisbloodpressure med. makes him dizzy and he doesn't take it because he works on docks and he's afraid he'll fall in and drown which I understand .So I asked him to go back to the doctor for a diffferent one and he won't do that either.He's cheated on me before also his first wife however she passed away and he didn't bother to tell me till recently he was arrested for solicting prostitution while she was alive had he told me this before we got married I would have never married him.I never forgave him (He kissed another woman )That's adultrey of the heart to me. There was a picture of it to my kid's found it in his truck.He told me he was at a party and saw the pic floating