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Divorce court today-It's over now 

I went to court today, it was uncontested, the judge asked if we both agreed it was irretrivable (yes) asked if we had children (no) asked if I was pregnant ( I had to stifle a laugh at that one-you do have to have sex to get pregnant right?)

Outside the court room I asked him how he was. He said he had alot going on. I said that's good-I hope, he said no. One of our cats got cancer and died (he had her for 9 years before we got married-I feel bad that he didn't let me know) . His mother in hospital and rehab, she fell 2 years ago and they just discovered that she had in fact had a stroke, his brother has problems, job lay offs (not him), concerned about no pay raise (hello, how about I took a 50% paycut when I moved) etc etc etc....

I didn't realize it until after we parted that he never once asked me how I was doing. I've had to change jobs twice since I left, I'm about to declare bankrupcy and foreclose on my condo since I took a paycut and can no longer afford the house. So what do yu think..... defense mechanism to not want to know what I am up to or he just doesn't care how I am doing....   And why do I care? Because even though I no longer want to be married to him, I do care about his well-being. 

I thought I would be celebrating tonight being single again, but I'm actually kind of sad. I know we did not have a marriage but it is still sad to see your marriage fail.
by islandgal  54 Posts 

Posted on 6/24/2008 9:23 PM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Tags: After divorce court , moving on
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Comments for "Divorce court today-It's over now"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Many people walk out of the final hearing in somewhat of a surreal mind frame...You can carry on an intelligent conversation, but it's more autopilot than anything.

 

I don't think you should be taking it personally that he didn't ask how you were. He could have very well just been in a world of his own....

 

And you care more because it is a very typical way for a woman to be...not to be stereotyping...it's just how we are...
by spaznskitz   3921 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 4:45 PM
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i feel very sorry for your ex. he obviously hasn't realized what he has lost yet. i were gracious to ask him and to listen. his family was your family, the pets too. people who say they can turn off their feelings like a water facuet are either liars or cold blooded. either way  be glad you are neither. closing doors are sad, esp. this time of year, but new beginnings are waiting for you. good luck.
by ann101   45 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 4:24 PM
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Once it is done it is over. It is hard to not care but it happens over time. Funny now how I want no contact but what is necessary due to having kids with my ex. I don't ask her how things are, how her job is going, how she feels, Blee hit the nail on the head. My ex wanted me out of her life so that is what she got. She sometimes wants to carry on a conversation just like we were still married and I cut her off and end it. Just don't care anymore. There is no celebrating and it is sad but your life goes on. If she needs me in times of trouble there will no need to contact me. Our relationship is defined in the seperation agreement and it does not state that I have to care any longer. She can call the OM for a shoulder to cry on, her problems no longer fit my shoulder.
by Valmet   57 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 2:57 PM
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