2much2long.............. great advice, as one who just got divorced after 17 months, I appreciate your healthy take on things.   6/22, best of luck, I don't know where your wife's brain is, but I can tell you this, my only regret is that I didn't at least try marriage counseling, my home situation got so bad, I just had to get out, I was suffocating and couldn't take it any more.  Ask your wife if she is open to counseling. You can both go seperately and she can deal with what she is feeling, and you can get impartial advice on how to help her, and yourself.  I wish you the well, trust that in time it will be ok, whatever the end result is.

Male perspective here.

Granted, all of situations on this site are slightly different and that includes mine (Was married for 13 months, and we decided to get a divorce 2 weeks ago. We will be filling out our joint papers this Wednesday. We have no significant joint assets, and no children. We can talk about our remaining business civilly.).

During our marathon "discussion" which lead to the decision to get divorced, she said, "I'm not sure what I want. I still love you." That sounds pretty damn similiar to what your wife said. My response to this was, "After only being married for a little more than a year, you are unsure if the marriage is worth saving? You're unsure if we are worth saving?" Now I knew in my heart, and told her directly that my rational mind knew we wouldn't work, but I was still willing to try, and would not accept the answer "I'm not sure". She said because I wasn't willing to "wait for her" that she had to leave and wanted a divorce. Now I can see that was a convient excuse to blame her decision on me-She of course was very dependent throughout the relationship.

Regardless, you can't, shouldn't have to, and imo, shouldn't want to convince someone that you are worth the effort to work things out with. This statement only intensifies when you've been married for numerous years and been through so many different situations. We all deserve better. 

I admire your willingness to attempt to work with someone that isn't giving much back at this point. You realize the marriage is sacred and are willing to do whatever is necessary to protect it. But the marriage is also a partnership, and no matter how much you give, it takes two for it to work and "confusion" by your wife, as previously stated, is imo, just a cover for not wanting to do something difficult. You appear to have some really good qualities about yourself, and I wish you the best in the future, whatever it may bring.