If you are divorced, you might secretly wonder what marriage the second time around would be like.

Would your new mate be everything your first one was not? Would he wisk you off your feet and restore your faith in true, everlasting love? Unfortunately, statistics have proven that second marriages have even a higher divorce rate than first marriages. So why then are some us so eager to jump back into marriage so soon after divorce? Many people feel lonely after divorce and have a selective memory about what their marriage was really like. They reminisce about the good times and conveniently forgot why they got divorced in the first place. After the initial phases of shock, anger and grief after divorce, you go through a loneliness phase. This can be a dangerous time period for a newly divorced person.

You may meet someone on the rebound and convinced you are in love, make the hasty decision to remarry. What you really need to do is ride out the loneliness phase by becoming your own best friend. You need to spend time working on yourself and enjoying your own company. You cannot look to another person to complete you or fulfill you. Only when you are truly happy with your own company are you ready to begin a new relationship Another reason why most second marriages are doomed from the start is that the issues that broke apart the first marriage have not been addressed or dealt with.

 Take some time to discover why your first marriage ended. Yes, it may be your ex’s fault, but what role did you have in the breakup? This is not a time for blame; it is a time for self reflection. By unearthing the real reasons for the demise of your marriage you will be better prepared to deal with these issues should they arise again in a new relationship. Second marriages can work, but only if both parties come into the relationship free of the baggage from their previous relationships. Take your time and do not rush into a new marriage after divorce. Be wise and make sure re-marriage is something you are really ready for.