Self-Pity parade 

Divorce can and will be a life altering experience. Make it a positive one.
I have seen many people, myself included, become harder, more cynical, bitter and worse than anything, comfortable in those emotions. There will be difficult days and situations that will bring to the surface all that has been lost, and then a temptation to blame will come. I have found, this is the place to start a regimen that can protect your peace of mind in the long run. If we blame the other person, we become a victim. Of there choices, there actions, and there personality. At this point, we have lost all power and destiny of our own lives, we become powerless and that can only breed feelings of hopelessness, fear, and misery. On the other hand, if we blame ourselves we become ashamed and remorseful. This will only bring out the self-pity parade. And the capabilities of destruction by self-pity are highly underestimated. We begin to doubt ourselves, our abilities, our confidence becomes corroded and through this selfishness we are of little to no value to those around us. It is a quicksand that devours any opportunity for light and personal growth. I have found tools that have dug me out of this graveyard. Or, when I am feeling particularly dramatic, I consider them my battle gear. One is, I stop analyzing the situation. I just stop. Dissecting every single breath and interaction and movement between me and my ex before and during and after this whole event. I just trust that I am here because it is exactly where I am suppose to be. It wasnt one thing that brought down a marriage for Gods sake. As humans, we have an intuition and possibly a unique individual path that we are entitled to, and that path includes being loved and feeling joy and happiness and connectedness, finding oneself in a divorce is a clear indication that those things arent coming to fruition, and I would bet, especially people coming to this website, seeking guidance, comfort, community and support, we spent many sleepless nights with this decision. And if you were the one who was left, I cant imagine those needs were being met for you, either! So, rejoice. I was so sad being around intact marriages and families in the beginning, until I realized, some of the most miserable stories I was hearing were coming from my counterparts who were in unhappy marriages. Those of us who were alone, had the freedom to explore and become prepared for a wide open future