i did it...gave my ex a gift for father's day 

he just picked up the kids and i had a gift bag ready.

i put some of the kids artwork in there....they selected the ones they liked best.

and i even put in some of my daughters ballet photos....even though he didn't show or call for her very first recital.

last night we went to target and picked out a book.

it was one of those colorful, short books on 'how to be a great dad'.  full of cute little things like 'teach your son to fish even when the mosquitos are biting you'. etc.

i wanted to highlight the parts about 'worship the mother of your children', and 'kids cost money - give it freely', but figured that would be going just a little too far.

it's the kind of book you would really give your father.

so i found a happy medium.  got a gift to show my kids the 'right thing to do'.  it was not blatantly passive aggressive like 'idiots guide to fatherhood'...(like i wanted to get)......but not total pushover like starbucks coffee....(like i was afraid i'd get).

a good compromise in my opinion.