The kids and I moved into a two-bedroom duplex a few years ago, when I sold the house in order to get out from under the financial burden.
At the time, I was unemployed, and barely making ends meet. And although I wasn’t fully aware of it, I was also reeling from a host of life issues and doing my best to bulldoze through a case of depression (one of those “if I don’t admit to it, it cannot Be So” situations.)
The kids weren’t at all happy about moving out of what my daughter still calls ‘the Big Blue House’ and into a much smaller place - but my son suggested that I find a two bedroom, and that he share a room with his sister.
So since that’s what I could afford, I did - and moved the entire household while the kids were on vacation with their father. And while they were slightly stunned when they got back to find out they were now sharing a room, well, they realized the remaining teeny tiny bedroom was better left to me. Or picked up on the stresses I was going through. Or cut me some slack at the time.
Those days are over. I hear ad nauseum from my daughter about her brother’s bossy ways, or field complaints from the teen about his sister’s messiness. It’s clear the room is a constant source of tension for them both.
I’ve tried to resolve the crowded-ness by creating a separate private space for my son in the basement, a haven for my daughter in the corner of the living room, or by offering my room up as a safety valve when one kid needed to get away from the other one. And we thought we could all deal with it until we moved to a new place next summer.
But it’s been clearer and clearer and clearer lately that it’s not at all ideal to have my teenage son sharing the room with his little sister.
So we’re in household upheaval mode right now. My small room is being emptied out so that we can turn it over to my son. He’ll inherit my cable connection, get to consolidate his media empire (the Wii! his television!) in one place, and have a private spot to entertain friends. With any luck, it’ll help defuse some of the constantly simmering tension between the kids.
And me? I get to share the bigger bedroom with the nine year old - who is entirely thrilled and happy that she gets to share with Mom instead of her stinky brother.
Win-win for all, you think? Shhhhh…..let’s keep this next bit just between us.
Let me just say that - while I love my daughter and know this is the right thing for all concerned - I hate, hate HATE giving up my room. I am pissy, resentful, and cranky as all get out right now. I’m losing my own haven, and it stings.
But because I am the adult, I am not sharing these feelings with the kids. Instead, we are All! So! Happy! to be wading through the dust clouds and the chaos in order to get to a more peaceful place.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, anyway…