Divorce and Children and Parents, Oh My! 

When I was a kid in grade school there was this girl whose parents were divorced.  I didn't really know what it meant, but it made her seem exotic and cool for some reason, like she had problems that went beyond my loss of Barbie heads.  As I grew up, they tell you in school that if you're a child of divorce, your parents are separating but they still always love YOU.  Never forget that.  But I wasn't like most kids.  I wished my parents would get divorced!

I used to read the Baby-Sitters Club Little Sister series a lot when I was a kid, and in it they talked about how little Karen Brewer - a child of divorce - had two houses, four parents, and double the toys!  I used to think how great it would be if my parents split up.  I could use them against each other to get Nintendo games, guilt them into buying me presents, and get two plates of spaghetti at dinner.  For me, it was all selfish wishful thinking, because it never happened, and this past April, my crazy parents celebrated their thirty-seventh year together.  Go figure.

But the truth is, that being a child of divorce is no laughing matter.  Having your parents split up right around you can be a very trying thing; I've seen it happen.

But here's something I didn't think of: what do you do if your daughter or son is going through a divorce?  This woman who lives at my grandmother's retirement home has two daughters and one son...all of whom are divorced, and she blames herself.  She said it's her fault for raising children who are "allergic to marriage."  She herself was married for over fifty years before losing her husband in 1999, so why does she blame herself?  I told her, one day while I was visiting my grandmother, that she shouldn't feel bad.  If parents divorcing tell the children it's not their fault, then that goes for the parents of divorcees as well.  It's nobody's fault.  These things just happen.  A lot.

What about you guys...does anybody have parents or children who are divorced?  How involved do/did you get in a situation like that?