Wake Up Call! 

Why does it seem like nothing ever gets done the way you hoped?  The bank errand today took a lot longer than expected.  He's having money  auto transfer from his account to mine but they messed it up and we had to redo everything.  The divorce online paperwork took a lot longer to do and by the time we were done it was way past dinner and he had to leave early so he could be up at 3am tomorrow for Drill.  Aaauugh, it's so frustrating!

So we're close to done but not there yet.  And to top it off he proved to me tonight just how different he's become.  I took him and the kids out to dinner before he left tonight.  At the restaurant we were waiting for one of the kids to get back from the bathroom and he pulled up his sleeve and showed me his new tattoo!!  Now that wouldn't be a big deal for most people, a lot of people have tattoo's.  But he has always been so strict and conservative that for him it is just plain weird!  Never before would he have done this! 

Strangely enough, it kinda bothered me.  It put me into a quiet, reflective mood the rest of the night.  It really made the gulf between us feel a lot wider.  Why it should, I don't know.  Obviously there is a gulf there, we are getting divorced.  But it really seemed to mark the end of things and it sort of made me sad. 

This last month I haven't cried much over our divorce ( I did a lot of that in the beginning) but after he left tonight I did end up shedding a couple tears.  We were getting along really well tonight, it was very much like the old days.  He even called me "dear" a few times tonight when he was talking to me.  Maybe it was because of the easy familiarity that he felt comfortable to share his new tattoo with me but to me it was an abrupt reminder about how things really stand between us right now.  Wow.  A tattoo.  It's so odd for him.  Things really have changed.