Today was the Biggest step! 

So today is the day!  I finally gave up, and I went to the lawyer!!  I started the process..  I couldn't deal ith the going through getting hurt anymore, and I couldn't deal with the not knowing what was going to happen! He hasn't changed, and I know that he is going to go back to the way that he was!  He has never changed!  *sigh*

It's been so emotionally draining on me this whole time.  I haven't seen him since December, and he hasn't made any effort to see me, except to tell me to go back to him!  So here I am today, not wanting to deal with it anymore.  I finally did something.  I started the divorce.  Yes, I'm the one doing it, so now i'm the bad guy, but in the same sense I am doing the inevitable!  I am now a statistic.  I am one of those marriages that don't even last a year!  I dont know I feel about this, but I am strong, and I;m getting stronger because of all of this.  *breathing deep*

I am learning to walk on my feet again, and I am starting to find my ground!  I just hope that everything goes easy, and I don't have to fight and contest the divorce *crosses fingers*