An Enlightened Moment 

I have just had an incredible enlightened 'conversation', if you will, today. 

Since I left my husband, I moped, cried, and was such a basket case- something totally foreign to me.  I got desperate and went searching on the web for sites, like this one, and signed up for a couple, including this one.  (I like the journal function, and the other articles, etc... pretty cool, huh?)  Anyways, a day ago, I ventured out and wrote my story, and got a response.  It was nice to connect with someone who felt like me and understood... but the real revelations came today. 

It turns out that another poster responded, because he wanted to understand from my perspective, as a walk away wife, what his wife was going through who is convinced that divorce is her only option. And at the same time, he in turn was able to relate to my husband, how he treated me, and what all that means, etc.  We had quite a lengthy 'conversation'.  Breaking down each other's 'issues', such as when his wife said something, it was clearly a defense mechanism.  Just as he was clearly able to define to me my husband's behavior and nailed it on the head. 

What I got from that conversation was outstanding.  It was a perspective I really needed, and to be honest a perspective that I was finally willingly open to receive.  It also confirmed many of my suspicions in my head too, and gave me a 'course of action', which I have already been in the process of. 

It doesn't change the fact that here we are today, separated, no.  But what it gave me was enlightenment and confidence to keep moving forward.  I have a strange since of relief.  I still don't know if we will be able to move from separation to working on our marriage, but I've always been hopeful.  I'm just doubtful that my husband will get as far as this other fellow did to realize what he needs to do.  Will that happen?  It's hard to say, it's possible, and he gave me some hope.   It also doesn't change that fact that yes, we could most diffidently move forward and even eventually divorce.  But I'm going to be okay.